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- Sales Rank: #1287286 in Books
- Published on: 1988
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
LEWIS'S EMOTIONALLY-WRENCHING JOURNAL AFTER HIS WIFE'S DEATH
By Steven H Propp
Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963) was a novelist, academic, medievalist, lay theologian, and Christian apologist who held academic positions at both Oxford University and Cambridge University. He wrote many other books, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, Problem of Pain, The Screwtape Letters, The World's Last Night, The Abolition of Man, The Great Divorce, God in the Dock, Christian Reflections, The Weight of Glory, etc. [NOTE: page numbers refer to the 153-page paperback edition.]
In later life, Lewis agreed to enter into a civil marriage contract with Joy Davidman Gresham, an American writer (of Jewish background) who was stricken with cancer, so that she could continue to live in the UK. After the marriage, her cancer briefly went into remission, and he came to love her deeply, and was devasted when the cancer returned and she died. This journal was originally relased under the pseudonym "N.W. Clerk"; his authorship was only made public after his death.
He wrote, "where is God?... When you are happy... you turn to Him... you will be---or so it feels---welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence... Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to belive in God... The conclusion I dread is not, 'So there's no God after all,' but, 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer.'" (Pg. 4-5) He adds, "Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand." (Pg. 28)
He says, "Sooner or later I must face the question in plain language. What reason have we, except our own desperate wishes, to believe that God is, by any standard we can conceive, 'good'? Doesn't all the prima facie evidence suggest exactly the opposite? What do we have to set against it?" (Pg. 33-34) He adds, "Is it rational to believe in a bad God? Anyway, in a God so bad as all that? The Cosmic Sadist, the spiteful imbecile?" (Pg. 35) He argues, "The word 'good,' applied to Him, becomes meaningless: like abracadabra. We have no motive for obeying Him. Not even fear. It is true we have His threats and promises. But why should we believe them? If cruelty is from His point of view 'good,' telling lies may be 'good' too... If His ideas of good are so very different from ours, what He calls 'Heaven' might well be what we should call Hell, and vice-versa." (Pg. 37)
He admits, "If my house has collapsed at one blow, that it because it was a house of cards. The faith which 'took these things into account' was not faith but imagination. The taking them into account was not real sympathy. If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came... Bridge-players tell me that there must be some money on the game, 'or else people won't take it seriously.' Apparently it's like that. Your bid---for God or no God, for a good God or the Cosmic Sadist, for eternal life or nonentity---will not be serious if nothing much is staked on it. And you will never discover how serious it was until ... you find that you are playing ... for every penny you have in the world... I must surely admit... that, if my house was a house of cards, the sooner it was knocked down the better. And only suffering could do it. But then the Cosmic Sadist and Eternal Vivesector becomes an unnecessary hypothesis." (Pg. 42-44)
Chad Walsh notes in his helpful Afterword, "Lewis never really recovered from the loss of Joy. When I next saw him in late 1961, he was subdued and at loose ends. His own health had begun to fail... He had been a man of tremendous zest during most of his life, but toward the end I think he was ready for death." (Pg. 147-148)
This deeply moving chronicle may be of particular help to those who themselves are feeling great pain.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
By far my favorite book to give away or refer to when I ...
By John TC Megahan
By far my favorite book to give away or refer to when I am doing grief and trauma counseling. CS Lewis is brutally honest with his feelings and questions, and does not sugar coat his emotions. His conclusions are sound and extremely helpful for the person in grief
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