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How to Marry a Divorced Man, by Leslie Fram
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You may not be his first wife -- but you want to be his last!
More than half of all American women between the ages of 18 and 54 will date or marry a divorced man during their lifetime.
Entering a relationship with any man is daunting. But entering one with a divorced man means navigating a host of new and complicated problems. Will remnants of his past -- his guilt, the X, their children, the financial and legal fallout -- wreak havoc on your sanity and finances and sabotage your quest for love? In this reassuring book, Leslie Fram combines fundamental wisdom, guerrilla tactics, and humor to inform and empower the millions of women who are dating divorcés -- and the many more who someday will.
- Sales Rank: #699432 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-04-02
- Released on: 2009-04-14
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Publishers Weekly
It may sometimes read like a parody, but this book is serious about its title-and its subtitle could be "By Any Means Necessary." Once Fram had hit her mid-30s as a "senior executive at a media company" and purchased a Manhattan apartment, "it was time for me to find a husband. I approached this mission...with a clear goal, strategy, and a lot of passion." She picks her quarry ("given the paltry selection of marriage material out there, Divorced Men seemed to be the only option") and speedily nails a fine specimen (but "his psychoconstipation from his earlier marriage rudely invaded our present, and future, together"). The rest of the book (that was just the first chapter) is designed to help potential brides of divorced men manage the emotional, financial and interpersonal issues that threaten that future. There's a chapter on managing early dates (ask the "Divorced?" question on the first, then drop it 'til the fifth), and then an investigation of his probable emotional states-complete with repeated "Reeling and Dealing" explanations of their causes, cheerleading for "FateMate" seconds trying to reel him in ("He's gettable") and "Antibrooding" techniques. A chapter on sex is frank, funny, grim and expert. Discussions about his money, his "X," and his children are models of realpolitik: "Love can't always conquer the most obtrusive of inherited children, so you'll need to draw your own conclusions after giving it your best shot." Victory does not always seem assured, and Fram gives hard-won advice that is grounded in practicality. Sandbagging the kids to preserve precious closet space may not be for everyone ("Tell them foldable clothes made from synthetic materials are all the rage"), but for Fram's FateMates, the end seems to justify the means.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
About the Author
Leslie Fram has been an editor at Seventeen and Cosmopolitan, an executive at Hearst's website women.com, and a fashion designer for her own women's clothing company. She danced with the New York City Ballet before receiving her B.A. from Barnard College and her M.B.A. from Columbia University. She lives in northern California with her husband -- a divorced man -- and their child.
Most helpful customer reviews
27 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Great Advice - Just Wish I Didn't Need It.
By BA
God, I wish I didn't have to buy this book, but I did. I really liked my boyfriend, so I needed something to help me with the various confusing feelings I had about the relationship. I have been dating my divorced man for about three years now. In the beginning I consulted this book A LOT and it still gets pulled out every once and again when a new problem crops up and I feel vulnerable. Being a never married, childless 30-something, I found my divorced man's children (4!) and ex the hardest to deal with. This book helped me realize my feelings are okay and normal and also how to deal with them. A great reference guide for anyone dating a divorced person.
24 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
finally!
By A Customer
Finally there's a soul out there who understands what i'm going through and can help me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. i've been on the verge of breaking up with my own fabulous/impossible divorced man but now, finally armed with the real scoop and the necessary tools, i'm hanging in there and slowly starting to soar.
ladies, if you think you might need this book, then trust me, you do. i highly reccomend this to you.
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
NOT ALONE!
By A Customer
A great book for unmarried women dating a divorced man. Very insightful and really dished out the truth, not easy to take. I found myself throwing this book across the room at times, only to pick it back up and re-read and highlight selections. A must for an woman considering marrying a man with "baggage".
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